kokikee

i spent the whole night yesterday just to do this fic.. i somehow felt that i need to make a fic for massu.. it's unbeta'ed..

Title : God Doesn't Really Hate Me After All
Author :

keeconk
Characters : Massu-centric.. some Nishikato
Rating : PG (or higher for language??)
Disclaimer : i really hate to say that they are not mine
Summary : massu finally realised that making a lyric might need some kind of hallucination..
A.N.: the story is basically Mental Disease and I Don't Really Mind that i put together, but it's from massu point of view this time.. you don't really have to read the other two to understand the story.. it's totally fine just to read it as it is.. but i'll be really happy if you do.. XD

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Massu ran as fast as he could. Oh my god! I’m so late! I’m super duper late! It was raining. Massu could feel that the bottom of his pant soaked with water. The umbrella that he was holding was no longer protecting his head; instead it was just being swung along with his hand movement.

The previous night, Massu was staying up the whole night, trying hard to produce some great words combination. His pen just stayed still on his hand, with an empty paper right underneath his hand. Loads of scratched papers were spread around his room’s floor. With his left hand rested on his cheek, Massu sighed.

“Gosh! I never knew that making lyric needs so much effort!” he complained.

Yeah. Massu was trying to make a good lyric, lyric for Shige’s new song. No one else knew just yet that Shige asked him to write the lyric. And no one else knew just yet that Shige’s song will be Massu’s next solo song. It was such a pain in the ass really. Massu never really imagined that one day he really had to write his own lyric for his solo song.

Massu decided to go out of his room and grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge. He opened the sliding door next to the living room, and sat quietly on the edge of the path way on the open-air veranda. The night was starry. I never knew that there is such a starry night in Tokyo.

He pulled his knees up and put his hands around them, with one hand still holding the water bottle. “Shige’s song sounds so sweet. I have no idea what kind of story I should put in it. Oh gosh! So much for free gyoza for two months that he offered me as the reward for making the lyric. I mean, the gyoza, then beautiful lyric to match Shige’s sweet song. I can’t even make up my mind which one is more important right now!” he groaned in frustration.

After he finished his water, he went back inside his room and sat back on his desk. Maybe I should put some love story or something similar to that, he thought to himself. Then finally, his pen started to move. He grinned as wide as he could, being thrilled with the sudden inspiration.

Back to the beginning, Massu was late. He was super duper late and it was raining. He didn’t manage to finish the song. He got almost everything done, but he still found it difficult to make nice sentences for the chorus.

Massu rested his palms on his waists, panting while trying to catch his breath, when he arrived just right in front of the studio building. He looked at his wrist watch, Thank god! I made it just in time! I even still have 15 more minutes before I need to change and do my make up.

It was cold, and he was soaking wet. Massu went straight to the vending machine as he entered the lobby. He pressed one of the canned coffee brands right after he folded his umbrella. He smiled right after he got his coffee.

Massu went to the lift right away. He pressed the up button. He was so thrilled to tell Shige the lyric that he managed to make so far. Maybe I can even ask Shige for some suggestion on the chorus! I never knew that making lyric for a song can make me feel so satisfied!

However, Massu’s smiled wasn’t last for long. As the lift’s door open, he thought that he might be actually still on his bed, dreaming. Shige and Ryo were inside the lift. Ok, it wasn’t really a big deal, but Massu was pretty sure that he rather be dead than have to see whatever he saw. Ehhhhhhhh??? Is that Nishikido-kun? With his lips against Shige’s? This can’t be true! Oh my god! He did not just try to shove his tongue inside Shige’s mouth! I’m hallucinating! This is so wrong!

Without even realizing it, Massu dropped his umbrella and his coffee from his hands. The umbrella fell first, then the coffee. The coffee made a really loud sound as it hit the floor. Ryo and Shige got distracted by the sound from the can. They pulled away in an instant. They looked just as shocked as Massu was when they found out that he was standing right in front of the open lift.

“Err.. Hi, Massu,” said Shige, trying to act normal.

Massu grabbed his coffee can and umbrella from the floor. His eyes blinked a couple of times really fast, trying to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. “H-hi Shi-Shige. I.. I th-think I’ll just take the stairs,” replied Massu.

He ran to the emergency stairs door and started to run upstairs. Massu was so shocked. It was just a dream right? Oh my goodness! Nishikido-kun? Kissing Shige? Oh my god! But they are both… well, guys… This can’t be right!

Then after about the fifth floor, Massu stopped. “I’m such an idiot! The dressing room is on the twentieth floor! How the hell am I supposed to manage to go there using the stairs?” he hit his forehead and right away made his way to the fifth floor’s lift, hoping that he wouldn’t bump into them again.

At the end, Massu didn’t even get the chance to tell Shige about the lyric that he made. Both Shige and Ryo didn’t even talk to each other during the whole filming time. The two of them acted as if nothing happened between them, although Massu noticed that Shige occasionally glanced at Ryo, or the other way round. Massu just sighed; he felt too awkward to say anything to Shige right now.

That night, Massu found it hard to sleep. His mind kept playing the scene where Ryo was kissing Shige over and over again. He put his pillow over his face, trying to stop the scene from repeating itself in his mind. Then he sat on his bed and quickly went out of his room.

He grabbed a bottle of cold water, and sat on the path way of the open-air veranda. He stared at the sky. It wasn’t starry like the day before. He was a bit disappointed but he just sat there, trying to calm himself down. Then his phone rang. He looked closely to his phone, trying to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. Why the hell is Nishikido-kun calling me late at night like this? Oh my god! He might be planning on threatening me to keep my mouth shut!

“Moshi mosh..” he was afraid, but answered the phone anyway.
“Ne, Buta. Is that you? It’s me,” said Ryo.
“Hai! It-it’s m-me,” he stuttered.

Then a pause. Ryo didn’t say anything else. Massu wasn’t sure what to say either. His mind was full of so many possible things that Ryo might use to threat him to keep his mouth shut. I’m so dead!

“So, what do you think?” Ryo said at last.
“Eh?”
“I said, so what do you think?”
“Eh? What do I think about what?”
“Damn it, Buta! About what you saw this morning, of course! As in Shige and I,” Ryo sounded annoyed.

Massu paused. His mouth twitched while his eyes looked so confused. “Eehhhhhh?????” was all he replied.

“Oh my god, Buta! Don’t tell me you’ve turned into another idiot like Jin,” Ryo sounded even more annoyed. “I’m trying to ask for your opinion here, okay. You should be proud of yourself, because someone as awesome as me, Nishikido Ryo, is asking you for advice,” added Ryo.

“Oh o-okay. But why me?” he asked
“Yamapi certainly will just tell me that I’m doing just great, while Jin is certainly not someone I’d like to talk about this kind of thing to. And since you were cursed and caught us kissing, so I thought I might just go and ask you,” Ryo explained.

Ryo basically talked on how he thought that he might be in love with Shige. He wasn’t even really sure when or how the hell he fell in love with him, he just did. Ryo also complained that it wasn’t even logically possible, considering how much he always make fun of Shige, unintentionally.

Massu wasn’t really sure what to say. He certainly wasn’t the right person to be asked about love. It wasn’t like he experienced much of this kind of thing before. “Well, what do you think of him after you kissed him?” asked Massu at the end.

Ryo paused for awhile. “I don’t know. I still like him, I guess. I mean, it didn’t really change anything. Well, maybe it did. As in, I kind of want to see him even more than before. Do you think this is weird? I mean, since both of us are guys. I bet you think that I’m a freak,” he replied.

Well, yeah. He certainly thought that it was weird. But it never occurred to him that Ryo might be a freak or sort, though. “I never thought of you being a freak or such. Me, myself, is currently still confused of what I just saw, you know. I don’t have much experience in love, so I don’t really know what advice I should give you,” said Massu.

“I see,” Ryo replied.
“But maybe you can try to do something. Well, maybe,”
“Do what?”
“Maa… maybe trying to act nicer to him or such. I mean, you kissed him right? He didn’t pull away or such, right? So maybe, he somehow likes you as well,”
“Well, he said he loves me and he kissed me first. Then I kissed him back,"
“Eeeehhhhhhh???????” Massu stood as he heard what Ryo just said.
“Now what?” complained Ryo.
“So-sorry. I w-was j-just shocked to hear that. T-then, maybe you can go to the next step. Ask him out or something,” replied Massu.

At the end, Massu stayed up late again that night, trying to give Ryo advice. Ryo seemed to listen to him intensely, probably even taking notes of what Massu was saying. Although Ryo didn’t threaten him to keep his mouth shut, Ryo did threaten him to help him out in the future. As the two of them hung up, Massu straight away went back to his room. This time, he right away fell asleep.

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“Gosh! What took the two of them so long? Maybe something happened to them,” Koyama started to panic.

Massu and Koyama were in Koyama’s TV room. The two of them plus Shige and Ryo were supposed to watch the new DVD that Koyama just bought together. Massu wasn’t actually planning on coming to watch the DVD, but Ryo made him. Not directly, but the way Ryo pierced his eyes at Massu when Koyama asked who else wanted to join him and Shige surely made it hard for him to refuse.

They had dinner just now, and were watching the DVD. About half way through the movie, Shige went out for a toilet break, and Ryo followed not long after.

“I’ll go and check,” said Massu. He walked out of the TV room and made his way to the toilet. He froze when he was just a few meters away from the toilet. He was seriously sure that he was cursed. Not again!!

Ryo and Shige were just right in front of the toilet. Ryo was pushing Shige to the wall slowly, pressing their body closely, and started kissing him. Massu stood still, trying to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, again. “For goodness sake! Why it’s always me that caught them kissing? Why God? Why? Relax! I didn’t see anything. No, I didn’t see anything! It was all just hallucination,” he said to himself as he went back to the TV room.

Koyama looked at him closely as Massu entered the TV room. He raised his raised his eyebrows, asking Massu where the other two. “Well, Shige was still inside the toilet and Nishikido-kun was still waiting for his turn,” he lied.

When Massu arrived at his house, he threw his bag on his bed and stared into space as he sat on his chair. His eyes then somehow stuck on a piece of paper that was lying on his desk. He took a very good look at the paper; it was the lyric that he wrote. Staring at it intensely was all he did for the next five minutes.

“Maaaa… Probably changing the whole lyric is not a really bad idea,” he said.

Massu spend the whole night re-writing the whole lyric. He even managed to make the right lyric for the chorus. He smiled at what he had written. He looked very satisfied as he put his pencil down. This time, I’ll show it to Shige!

The next day, the first thing that Massu did when he arrived at their filming studio was trying to find Shige. This time, instead of got all shock like he always did, finding Shige and Ryo, who were kissing each other on the dressing room, didn't really bother him anymore. Massu just smiled. “Well, why don’t you guys try to find somewhere else more private next time, such as a closet,” he said half laughing.

Ryo and Shige pulled away. Ryo smirked, with his cheeks turning pink, while Shige bit his lower lip, looked all shy. Massu stepped closer to Shige. He passed a piece of paper to Shige. “What is this?” asked Shige.

“The lyric for you new song. Check out the last part of the chorus. That’s my favourite part,” said Massu, giving Shige his best smile. Shigie opened up the flipped paper. Ryo looked curious as Shige froze when he read the lyric. He drew himself closer to Shige, trying to read the lyric that Massu made. Just like Shige, Ryo froze. He looked at he paper, then Massu, then the paper, and back to Massu.

“Well, I guess God doesn’t hate me after all. At least caught the two of you kissing gave me some idea. The lyric is nothing too fancy, but well, I love it,” said Massu, half laughing.

I fell in love with you. I never know when and how, I just did. I'm all bruised up because I keep falling for you. I know that this is not right, but I also know that it’s not wrong either. Because the thing that matters is what we think about it, not what they think about it.

“Ne, Buta. You stole the first two sentences from what I told you the other night! You are so dead!!” Ryo stood and chased him. Massu tried to run away, pulling Yamapi that just entered the dressing room; and used him as a shield. Shige just laughed looking at their behaviour, while Yamapi had no idea what was happening.

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i'm personally not really confidence with this fic.. i think i'm being repetitive.. but well.. i just think that massu totally needs some love after wat i put him through on my previous two fic.. at least i tried my best..